Dinosaur Island
September 14, 2010 I was strolling around an old fashioned carnival, eating cotton candy and minding my own business, when I uncovered a portal that teleported everyone to an island with dinosaurs.
To uncover a portal, just keep an eye out for things that are draped over with blankets or white sheets, and then whip it off dramatically.
The portal was lost now, and it was my destiny to save us all. We were all running and hiding from dinosaurs, and losing our loved ones. There were a lot of botched decoy/you-distract-the-dinosaur-while-I-run experiments.
I was hiding in a pit when I fell in love with this guy. He was really cute but he was huddled with his girlfriend, and I couldn't let myself get distracted from the task at hand. I had to man up and strategize our escape.
I told his girlfriend to be my decoy while I got us closer to the portal, which I had spotted not too far away covered by a blanket. She said yes, even though we had already learned that decoys never survive. The next thing I remember I was slamming a door in a dinosaur's face and telling the guy I liked that his girlfriend had got eaten.
"It's just me and you now," I said, "We have to make a run for it." But while we were running towards the portal, he found some dinosaur eggs and swore they smelled like his dead girlfriend. "That's weird," I said, "Put them down." But he didn't and the mama dinosaur came and ate my crush up. I screamed, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, like that and then I woke up.
Fucking shit, I liked him. New lesson learned: don't ever make a dinosaur eat the girlfriend of the guy you like.
